and then maybe explain later. Maybe.
Catriona
CatrionaIsCrazy
Botulism doesn't pay the bills.
Tag Archives: photography
Perfectly Primed for a Downward Spiral
You guys never cease to amaze me. Thank you for all the messages and E-mails. I will respond, I will. I truly would hug each of you, and I’m not a hugger.
I’m just a hot mess right now. You know, like the kind you see in Walmart. You know what I’m talkin’ about. Kidding. Kinda. Maybe.
It’s been 4 years this April since Oliver jumped off the planet, wow.
I just wanted to let you all know I was still around. Whatever that even means any more. lol
So, while I am here – Photo Dump:
And my personal favorite:
Catriona
Broken head and the sunset
Life has been so horrifying these days. I’ve been officially diagnosed with PTSD. Not that it needed to be official, I’m displaying symptoms so apparent even the mail man is looking at me funny. Not the one that heard the STD convo, unfortunately. That was at Grams house.
I was starting to really think I was psychotic. Really. But both “specialists” assure me this is “normal”, ha. I can’t deal with friends, I can’t look at photos, I can’t handle crowds even if there are vintage items involved. Simple inanimate objects trigger a fight or flight response that is just not rational. I just want to be alone. I feel better when I’m alone. I’m not dealing well with anything. I can’t do the things I love, I don’t even know if I love them any more. The spaces in my brain that used to be filled will endless knowledge are filled with the same file I just cannot delete. It’s like my brain and senses are stuck on an endless loop of emotional terrorism. I live with earbuds flooding my brain with the loudest, most complicated music I can find, in order to keep the file from taking over my head completely.
It’s gotten so bad that I walk for hours on end, blasting music, like some how if I keep moving it will keep the darkness away.
I understood PTSD before, but I really didn’t. I hope none of you ever, ever do.
Under a bridge.
Standing on the same bridge days later.
I’ve been walking the canals a lot.
Catriona
I NEED A PROSTATE! *Edit
omg, OMG, O.M.G You will never guess what I stumbled upon, OMG!!!!!!
I was looking for a Pick Punch, and do you know what I found? DO YOU?! I.JUST.CANNOT.EXPLAIN.HOW.EXCITED.I.AM.
I NEED A PROSTATE! NNNEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEEEEDDDDDDDDD!
and a testicle, and an ovary, and a Mammary gland! I NEED TO HAVE THEM ALL!
I’m almost, almost as excited as when I discovered STDs! ALMOST.
HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THESES! WHAT THE HELL!? I NEED A TESTICLE! I need a testicle to go with alllll the STDs I will one day have!
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.
GIVE ME A PROSTATE!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHH!
I’m off to buy a prostate.
Catriona
Super Balls aren’t for me.
I’ve been watching Doctor Who for hours. Superbowl, bla!
I’ve avoided FB and Twitter all night – for fear of being Super Balled. Doesn’t sound very pleasant, does it?
While avoiding taking a Ball to the eye, I’ve been tooling around on WordPress. You know what I’ve found? THIS:
Those are the search engine terms from the last few days, for my blog. Bahahahah!
“Are Craiglist Whores Crazy?” hahahah! People actually search for that? REALLY? Gosh, I love people. So, amusing.
“Penis Spam Eat” – Wait, what?!
Man, I need to start blogging about puppies, and cotton candy, or something. LMAO Yeahhhhhhh, we know that’s not going to happen.
Gosh, I’m tired. Ugh.
Good Night my friends, I hope you haven’t gotten Super Balled, too hard.
Catriona
Kiss me WHERE?!
Well hello, peoples! How are you? How have you been? Good? Bad? Join any cults while I was gone? (No, I’m not down to join. Just, No.) Anything exciting happen while I’ve been away?! Do tell!
What have I been doing, you ask? Nothing really. Just painting my nails. What? I could be a compulsive nail painter, you don’t know. Or, I could be that chick who drinks nail polish (seriously, have you seen that? WHOA). Hahha! Maybe that’s how I’ll call out of work tomorrow; “Sorry, I drank a bad bottle of nail polish, I’m not feeling very well….” I mean, I do call out “Dead” sometimes, soooo….Hmmm.
Have you ever actually read the names of your favorite nail polishes? Seriously, you should. Go do it right now. I just went and found mine a second ago as I was giving you all a hard time about judging me for being a compulsive nail painter, annnnnnnnd it’s hilarious. Wait till you see the names and colors:
This is “Kiss me here”…
Now, wait a min, kiss me WHERE? WHAT!? That there is GREY. Where, WHERE are you going to kiss me that is gonna be GREY?! WTF? Hahahahaha! Unless, of course I’m deceased, or diseased. In that case YOU have some serious flippin’ issues for wanting to kiss me ANYWHERE. SICKO! WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU!? UGH. Some people.
This is “Spit Fire”.
Makes much more sense than that first one. I have nothing witty to say. Sorry.
Hhahaha.
That’s what my nail polish says about me: Kiss me here, Spit Fire.
What’s yours say? Hahhaahah Seriously, I wanna know.
Catriona
* I would like you all to know that when I typed in “Grey” into the Tags box, “Teal and grey Molesters” populated automatically…um…hmmm… While I am sure this means something to someone…..It’s still a very creepy mental image to have without warning. .
Free Porn is having a hard time loading my page.
Um. What the hell did I just write?
Free Porn is having a hard time loading my page.
I’m sorry Free Porn. I’m not sure why you, of all people, are having an issue loading my page. I hope you really did check back later. I also hope you aren’t having any more loading issues.
We’re still pals tho, right?
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HELLO PEOPLE! How are all you loopy fuckers?!
It’s been crazy at my house. Been workin’ an junk. That and, you know, screwing off. Hhahah. Nothing really exciting, just working a lot and screwing off. Shit. I think I just said that… Maybe no one will notice? Ahahaha! I’m suffering a bit from sleep deprivation. It’s alright tho cuzz sleep deprivation can be hilarious. Completely amusing at times. Well, maybe it’s only amusing because I’m sleep deprived? Sleep deprivation can be useful. Shit. How many times have I said ‘sleep deprivation’……?….I’m sure no one will notice. There is one thing for sure – there isn’t anything more funny at 2:30 in the morning.. than Pussycorns. Ohhh yeah, you read that correctly. Be glad I don’t have your phone numbers people, because when I get crazy tired – I do things like harass my friends with horrid FB stickers. .
The blue is me…..
Yeah, people. Be glad your aren’t on my contact list. That was the night I realized FB had horrible stickers. This is only part of the convo…I think I went on and on….hahaha. I was so tried and so amused with my friend’s responses that I think I might have pulled something laughing.
Seriously. Pulled. Something. Laughing.
Friggen Pussycorns.
Gosh, I have such ridiculous crap in my phone. I just went looking for something and ..instead found…
THIS.
WHAT. THE. HELL?
and REALLY – I have no idea why this is in my phone…..Sleep deprivations, I tell ya…..
Horrifying.
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Now, this one I do remember.
You’re welcome.
Hahahahah! Did you miss me? LMAO. You know you did.
I need to go lay down, and try to refrain from spamming my friends with terrifying FB stickers. .
Catriona
Stuff my stocking…
I’ve been thinking extensively about the coming holidays (boobs).
I just love the holidays (boobs).
When I think about the holidays – I think of family, good food, beautiful atmosphere, hand crafted gifts, and crazy relatives being complete and just utter jackholes (boobs).
I’m so far behind in the whole Xmas shopping/making things, thing. That’s almost unheard of for me. I need to get on that shit, like, stat.
You know, I’ve received some pretty epic holiday gifts over the years. Some …wayyyyy more ridiculous than others. For example – several years ago Santa left this, and only this, in my stocking….
Do you know what this is?
Hint: it’s not a scoop of ice cream.
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Still not sure?
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Yeah. That’s right. Santa gave me boobs for Christmas. A brand new pair of boobs.
He’s so flippin’ thoughtful.
He really does know everything about me!
I mean, I know I have the chest of an 11 year old boy, I’m good with that. But I was unaware that Santa had boobdar in his arsenal of special skills.
I keep them in my dresser next to that ugly sweater you gave me. I’ve never actually used my boobs for anything other than Halloween, but I love the fact that I have boobs, in my drawers.
What kinds of weird items has Santa given you guys? I think I need to know.
Catriona
Beeping Beeper
Son – “Mom, mom. There’s beeping in my room.”
Coffee Fiend – “What?”
Son – “Beeping. THERE’S BEEPING.”
Coffee Fiend – “Beeping?”
Son – “BEEPING. I. can’t. sleep. with. the. annoying. BEEPING.”
Coffee Fiend – “Ok, ok. Let’s go.”
Son – “THE BEEPING.”
Coffee Fiend – “Yes, yes lets go find it.”
Son – “Kill it.”
Coffee Fiend – “Not a problem dear. I generally kill things that wake me at 4:30am, anyway.”
Son – *Giggles*
So, I stumbled out of bed and out of my room to find the beeping. It was my office. My friggen office was beeping at 4:30am. My battery backup was having a friggen seizure. Sigh.
I killed the beeper, my child cheered, and I stumbled back to my room…only to come horrifyingly close to stepping in the largest pile of dog puke I’ve ever seen. (You know you wanted to know that last part.)
Beeping and dog puke. That’s all I got people.
Oh. OH, OH. No, No no no! I have something else. Something exciting:
I have COLORED googly eyes!! oooooooooooyea
Heh.
Catriona
Raise your hand if….
..you’ve been up since 5:30am.
Yeah, you see my hand? Yeah, that would be me. I’ve been up since then, yup.
I was woken up to a panicked child squished up against my bed, looking up at me, “Mom, Mom. I know it’s 5:30am, but the light in my room won’t work.”
Coffee fiend – “Is it just your room, or the whole house hunny?”
Son – “It’s just my room. The rest of the house is fine. You know I don’t care about the rest of the house.” (he was also still half asleep)
Coffee fiend – “Ok, I’ll get the light bulbs.”
Son – “HERE.” *shoves light bulbs at me*
Coffee fiend – “Hunny?”
Son – “Yes mom?”
Coffee fiend – “Please wait till after I’ve put on my glasses to start shoving things at me, ok?”
Son – “I’m sorry mom. I just hate it when the light in there is out. It should knock that off.”
Coffee fiend – “I know hunny. I’ll give it a good talkin’ to, don’t you worry.”
Son – *giggles*
Now, before you all start screamin “send him back to bed, it’s 5:30am, it’s not a big deal..bla bla!..” – ohhh but it is. There are a few things my son just cannot handle, and the light not working in his room is definitely one of them. There’s no way my child would go back to sleep knowing the light doesn’t work. No. Way. It has nothing to do with the darkness. He’s not scared of the dark. He doesn’t even really use the light in there often. It just has to be in functioning order when he wants it. Why? Because he got his momma’s quirkiness, lol.
Soooo yeah, by 6am I had already challenged how many coffee-fiending-monsters it takes to change a light bulb, and made Cinnamon buns.
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Hope you are all full of coffee this morning. I know I am. whooooo….
Catriona