I have lovingly named my tool of a next door neighbor “Sir Washed up Douch Bag”.
Why? Because Sir Douch is a retired cop in his 50’s who’s got an authority stick shoved so far up his ass that he cannot see past his Holier Than thou infested head. As a result, he thought it appropriate to scream and yell threats as well as vulgarities at my son. My son had done nothing wrong. Yeahhhh… I’m sure you can guess how that ended: I bolted from the screen porch I was watching from and was in front of Sir Douch within seconds; shut him down just as fast. His final threat being he was going to call the cops on me. I rebutted that I was already on the phone with the police (partially true). That left him staring at me for a second and then retreating.
About 5 mins later I hear my door, and guess who it is? Sir Douch and Mrs. Douch. He wanted to speak to my son. He was told to stay the hell away from my son. He wanted me to know that he could still call the police. I smiled real big, leaned against the door, and attempted to hand him my phone:”I think you should, here you go.” Apparently my evil laughter upset his plans of scaring me, and he and Mrs. Douch stormed off my porch.
Now, when he walks by he won’t even look at me because he tried the whole “intimate the woman with a mean stare” thing… aaaand found out I’m better at it. That doesn’t keep him from glaring/staring at anyone on my porch.
If he attempts at talking to my son again, I will surely be arrested.
Don’t be a Washed Up Douch Bag, Internet. It gets you no where.
Alright, time for a dump. Let’s see what we have. Ready?
This one I swear must be true:
Can I just say this one looks like a good time?
Saw this tonight at Walmart. More disturbing than Walmart itself. What in Hezmana is that?!
Also found at Walmart today. Seriously??
Since I brought them home they haven’t gotten along… At all… So, when I walked into my room to see this… Shear terror. They must be plotting against us… I’m scared.
I make the best Squash Lasagna!
I’d apologize for this next one, but it was one of you fools who sent this to me. Hahaha ha!
Seriously, can someone tell me what in three Hells is going on here?!?!?!
I will not apologize:
… Um… HAHAHAHAH A!
Oh dear, the crap you can find in my phone… Let’s go for one more:
Annnnnd I’m done. Hahah.
Until next time. Love you all!
Catriona
XOXO
