I’ve been thinking extensively about the coming holidays (boobs).
I just love the holidays (boobs).
When I think about the holidays – I think of family, good food, beautiful atmosphere, hand crafted gifts, and crazy relatives being complete and just utter jackholes (boobs).
I’m so far behind in the whole Xmas shopping/making things, thing. That’s almost unheard of for me. I need to get on that shit, like, stat.
You know, I’ve received some pretty epic holiday gifts over the years. Some …wayyyyy more ridiculous than others. For example – several years ago Santa left this, and only this, in my stocking….
Do you know what this is?
Hint: it’s not a scoop of ice cream.
Still not sure?
Yeah. That’s right. Santa gave me boobs for Christmas. A brand new pair of boobs.
He’s so flippin’ thoughtful.
He really does know everything about me!
I mean, I know I have the chest of an 11 year old boy, I’m good with that. But I was unaware that Santa had boobdar in his arsenal of special skills.
I keep them in my dresser next to that ugly sweater you gave me. I’ve never actually used my boobs for anything other than Halloween, but I love the fact that I have boobs, in my drawers.
What kinds of weird items has Santa given you guys? I think I need to know.