Nope

I’m at a loss. Life has been just ridiculous. Lol.

The last month has brought me some horrid pain.

Not only was this month my Anniversary, it would have been 2 years. It was my Exes Birthday, but it’s also the month I found out that a dear friend of mine has passed away.

I found out via a fucking Google search. The family never phoned me. I felt it. I ran away from it for a while. I finally Googled him to make myself face it.
So alone in my office, I read one of my closest friend’s Obituary. He had been gone over a month by the time I got to the obituary. I was never told, never given the chance to attend this Sevices. He left April 2nd. Hell month. Great. And the day my favorite Grandfather died. Great. Thanks for all that, Universe.

Seriously, WTF. WTF?

This same friend that lost his leg, and almost his life the same month I found my wife dead in our bed is now also gone.

I’ve been out of work, and between my financial ruin, my love affair with Pansy, and the vendetta The Universe has for me, I’m tired. I’m just so tired.

I’m tired of being used. Someone always gets something out of being close to me. What have I gotten? Ha. I’m tired of working my ass off and getting no where. I’m tired of thinking positively, helping others, and getting walked on.

I’m tired.

Catriona

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Nope

I’m at a loss. Life has been just ridiculous. Lol.

The last month has brought me some horrid pain.

Not only was this month my Anniversary, it would have been 2 years. It was my Exes Birthday, but it’s also the month I found out that a dear friend of mine has passed away.

I found out via a fucking Google search. The family never phoned me. I felt it. I ran away from it for a while. I finally Googled him to make myself face it.
So alone in my office, I read one of my closest friend’s Obituary. He had been gone over a month by the time I got to the obituary. I was never told, never given the chance to attend this Sevices. He left April 2nd. Hell month. Great. And the day my favorite Grandfather died. Great. Thanks for all that, Universe.

Seriously, WTF. WTF?

This same friend that lost his leg, and almost his life the same month I found my wife dead in our bed is now also gone.

I’ve been out of work, and between my financial ruin, my love affair with Pansy, and the vendetta The Universe has for me, I’m tired. I’m just so tired.

I’m tired of being used. Someone always gets something out of being close to me. What have I gotten? Ha. I’m tired of working my ass off and getting no where. I’m tired of thinking positively, helping others, and getting walked on.

I’m tired.

Catriona

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Cupcakes have landed!

Quick update 

I have started to receive photos of traveling Cupcakes! (hahah! you guys kill me)

I will start posting them soon.

If you think you should have received stickers and didn’t, shoot me an E-mail. :) I just got a new batch in, and am going down my list.

I sent a bunch internationally, I have no idea how long it will take to get to you, so, uh, just keep waiting? LOL

I have been contacted about my traveling cupcakes…new project in the works….get your name in, and keep the photos coming!

I have too much laundry that needs to be folded.

I wish I could take a vacation, or a cruise. Anyone want to take me on a cruise? I don’t put out tho. 

I have no idea what I am cooking for dinner.

I keep being poked at about a SnapChat account. Should I sign up for the garbage? Would you be my Snapchat friend? LMAO?

Whatelse…..ummmm……….I have no idea. HA

Happy Sunday!

Catriona

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Do you need dating advice? My 10 year old can help.

Apparently my 10 year old son knows more about dating than I do. 

We walked by a bridal store today. These stores NEVER catch my eye. Ever. But the dress in the window caused me to come to a complete stop. It was stunning. I muttered something about weddings. And the most bizarre conversation then proceeded to take place between my son and I:

Well if you want to get married, there are steps you know. You have to date. Then you fall in love. Then you have a baby. Then you get married. – Kid

*raised eye brow* Oh?

Yes. You need to date. – Kid

Um. No, I don’t.

Yes, you do. It would be good for you. – Kid

What? How would you know. 

I just do. – Kid

I don’t need to date, Kid. I am fine. 

No, you need to start dating. It will get your mind of (insert contents on my brain, here). – Kid

WHAT? That is not how it works child. You don’t date to get your mind off things and people. You do it to find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. It just so happens I am not down for that at this moment. 

Yeah, I know, but it will help, and you could find someone… That would make you happy, and wear that dress. *giggles* – Kid

Whoa kid. No, I am not wearing that dress, and I am not dating. 

Yes you are. – Kid

No, I’m not. I am not interested in dating, at all. The dress was beautiful, that’s all. 

Now, mind you, this entire conversation took place at one of our local shopping centers.

You should be. – Kid

What? Why?

Because you are beautiful, and you should date while you are still beautiful. – Kid

WHAT? *lols* are you saying time is running out on my beauty? *woman rounds the corner to come down the isle* Trust me lady, you don’t want ANY of this isle. 

*giggles* You should just try. – Kid

I have tried. 

WHAT DID YOU DO TO MESS IT UP? – Kid

Oh my starts kid, I didn’t mess it up (almost dying in laughter now). It just didn’t work. 

WHAT DID YOU DO? – Kid

I didn’t DOOOO anything. It just didn’t work out. 

You need to start dating again, mom. – Kid

WHAT DO YOU GET OUT OF IT, CHILD?

Nothing, I just think it will help you. – Kid

Help me what?

Well, I am getting older you know, what happens when I am not around? – Kid

YOU ARE TEN.

Yeah. You should date. – Kid

Oh my god, Kid. 

You can go on dinners and fall in love, and forget about (insert other parent). – Kid

That’s not how it works. 

Just do it. *pointing to Nike shoes* – Kid

Kid, you are killing me. I am going to sell you on the Black Market. 

No you’re not. – Kid

Yes I am. Stop touching stuff. You are getting your boy hands all over the girly stuff. 

Don’t change the subject. – Kid

I am selling you *Yells out in the middle of the store* CHILD FOR SALE!

*Falling over giggling* – Kid

I donno why you are laughing. I am selling you RIGHT NOW. 

Nope. You are going to start dating RIGHT NOW. – Kid

Yeah. Right after I sell you. 

Fine. You know you attract a lot of attention. It would be easy for you. – Kid

CHILD, CHILD FOR SALE! *all four ladies in line are laughing, the cashier is shaking her head. Though I am not sure which one of us should was more unimpressed with.* What the hell, kid. I will date when I am ready. 

Now? – Kid

NO.

How about now? – Kid

I am going to leave you here.

I know how to get home. – Kid

I am running away. 

With a date? – Kid

OH MY STARS CHILD. 

It went on like this for about an hour. Apparently I need to start dating. He doesn’t care who. He doesn’t even care what I do, I just need to date, someone, anyone. LMAO.

I couldn’t sell him btw. No one would take him. Maybe they figured he gave faulty advice. 

I have got to go to bed. Maybe I will find a date there.

OXOXOOX

Catriona

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Rabid Cupcake Epidemic

Quick update on the spreading of Rabid Cupcakes:

WHOA, you guys surprised me! I really didn’t think I would get that many requests.  lol

I have so many requests that when I get more stickers I will go down my list :) You can also go and buy stickers HERE along with all the other ridiculous stuff I posted when I was bored.

I have sent out the first round of stickers, STD style. So, if you requested one, and you were one of the first 40, you will see it soon!

Remember, I don’t care where you stick it, or even if anyone else can see it (stick the fucker under a public bench for all I care), all that matters is that WE know it’s there. BAHAHAH. 

I used my credit to get more stickers, so if you didn’t make this round, I will get you next round!

Thank you all for being so supportive, and so willing to indulge me and my craziness. hahah

Not much going on other than the mail man at the Post Office giving me the hairy eyeball when I came to the counter with an arm full of envelopes from CatrionaisCrazy.com.

“What’s this?” – Old Post guy

“Uh, um, a letter?” – Me

“You have a lot of them, what’s in them, and what’s this website?” – Old Post Guy

“It’s not drugs, I swear.” – Me

*From behind me* “CATRIONA!” – Gram

“Yes Gram?” – Me

“Are you sure there’s no drugs in all of these envelopes?” – Old Post guy

“YES, she is SURE.” – Gram

*Me to Gram* “How do YOU know?” – Me

“CATRIONA!” – Gram

“Ok, international stamps are required.” – Old Post Guy…….

BAHAHAHHAHAHA!

As we were walking out:

“I cannot believe you did that.” – Gram

*Giggle* – Me

“I take that back, I will not be attending the Post with you any more.” – Gram

“Well it really wasn’t drugs.” – Me

“CATRIONA!” – Gram

“Well it wasn’t!” – Me

“I cannot believe you.”-  Gram

“Yes you can.” – Me

My poor Gram. LMAO. 

If you have no idea what I mean about stickers, or you didn’t get your name in, I’m still taking names, and will be sending out stickers when I get more! Click here for more info !

XOXOXOOX

Catriona

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Do you support Rabid Cupcakes?

So, I have these stickers I received as a test to see how they would come out:

Support

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd now. I have 40 of them. Hahhaha. So. I have decided that I want to see them all over! I gave some to my son (Stars knows where he will stick them….) So here is the deal: The first 40 people to send me a mailing address will get a Sticker! BUT the catch is you have to send me a photo of where you stuck it. Doesn’t matter if it’s under a bridge where no one sees it, you still have to send a photo! (Sigh, keep it semi clean). 

So, send your *mailing info to Catrionaiscrazy@gmail.com & if you are lucky, you might get a sticker.

Support 2

Then, send a photo of the sticker and the location, to the same address. If you don’t want to include a location that is fine.

Rude photos will be laughed at, and then deleted.

I wanna see how far I can get the stickers to travel, STD style! who’s interested?

XOXOXOXO

Catriona

*Any mailing info collected will not be shared, and only used for this purpose.

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No one’s got time for that, Batman.

My kid, I tell ya.

So today I was sitting on the couch messing with my phone as my son played Mincraft.

annnnnd then Pandora does what it loves to do: scare the crap outa me by starting up by itself.

annnnd the song was GREAT. And by GREAT I mean it was horrid, but my son’s reaction was fantastic.

*spins around to glare in my direction* “What the?! Is that Batman? WHAT is that? That’s terrible. No one’s got time for that, Batman.” – Son

So naturally, I downloaded it, and set it as my texting ring tone. And since I have been talking to my brother all day, every day (a boring story), it didn’t take long for it to play.

“WHAT. WHY?” -Kid

*laughing so hard I fall over on the couch* “What?” – Me

“WHY BATMAN? WHY?” – Kid

“What, you don’t like that song?” -Me

“No, I certainly do not.” – Kid

“But you like Batman.” – Me

“BUT WHY IS HE TALKING LIKE THAT?” – Kid

I giggle, and he goes back to playing. I mute the sound so he doesn’t hear it go off.

About 30 mins later, I turn the sound back on:

“Seriously? you chose THAT as your ring tone? Dirty Batman.” – Kid

“OK, time to go shopping.” – Me

So, we get into the grocery store and it goes off:

“REALLY? You are ok with people hearing that???” – Kid

“Sure, why not?” – Me

*Whips out his phone* “I am going to spam you so everyone can hear it” *evil grin* – Kid

*Pulls phone out of pocket and holds it up so everyone can hear* “OK” – Me

“Oh my God, you don’t care.” -Kid

“Nope” – Me

“Why don’t you care? It’s HORRIBLE. And it’s Batman.” – Kid

“It’s not Batman, it’s Manson.” -Me

“It’s Crazy. And it’s Batman.” – Kid

“It’s Manson.” – Me

“Why’s he calling himself ‘Daddy’? – Kid

“Does Batman Call himself Daddy?” – Me

“No.” -Kid

“Because it’s Marilyn Manson.” – Me

“No.” – Kid

I laugh harder than one should in an store, and shut it off. The subject then went to what kind of tomatoes were are going to get.

When we get home I put everything away, and turn the the notifications on my phone back on. I walk up the stairs and am just about in my room when it goes off. This is what I hear from down stairs:

“NOOOOOOooooo Marilyn Batman!”

BAHAHAHHAHAHAH!

It really is a horrid song. It’s Marilyn Manson and …..Wait for it…..Avril Lavigne. Yeah. What? 

The beginning is Manson’s growly voice saying “Lay your head in daddy’s lap, you’re a bad girl.”

If you want to hear a horrid song click HERE.

And for those who are going to listen and then scream that I let my son listen to THAT. He’s only heard the beginning. Also, he plays XBOX. He’s already heard everything under the Sun. 

XOXOXOXOX

Catriona

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Heartburn & Sherlock

Spent the day cleaning, catching up on E-mails, and cleaning out half of my son’s closet to make a “Club House” so he’d stop searching about all the closets in the house with a pillow and flashlight. Lol.

Now the kid and I are now watching Sherlock.  Lol.

I have the worst heartburn, ever. EVER. I may name it. Like, Bethany, or Beatrice.  Nothing seems to help it. I think she’s her to stay with me and Pansy.

I have a lot on my mind. Pansy and I have been going at it again. Our fights are worse than ever. It’s worse when someone provokes Pansy, knowingly. Friggen awful that Pansy can be used against me. Oh well, everyone has a weakness, mine is just out there like a huge red lighted button for anyone to slam, causing me horrid pain.

Lots, and lots on my mind.

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I think that’s enough for now.
OXOXOX
Catriona

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Origami to the face

This new medication has been knocking me on my ass. Not only is it causing a ruckus in my stomach (which is flippin unheard of as I live on meds and coffee all day long, no problem), I have been experiencing sleeping issues due to the side effects. I guess the headaches aren’t helping either. Anyway. I woke up with a dog on my head, and my kid forcing an Origami space ship in my face. hahah. I think there might have been a ladybug involved, too. Yeah, there was. At several different times there were several different Monsters in my facial region. hahah. I think he was checking for life. lol.

I am so proud of my kid. We took Medical Transport to our appointments annnnnd of course the first thing you see is a stretcher. “That brings back bad memories, but it’s ok.” He said, sitting there looking at it. And he really was. I thought for sure it was going to set the tone for an already stressful appointment. He took it well, noted that life is better without my Ex, but that he still has so much love, and still considers Ex his parent. “(Ex) is just sick. (Ex) may not get better, I know that. But that doesn’t change my feelings.”  I’m so sad for, and proud of him -being able to break it down like this, despite it all.

So I walked him into his appointment bracing myself; knowing I would be holding down/ carrying/ putting in a hold my child that is my EXACT weight, very soon. I was dreading this friggen appointment. We walked in and he was so enthralled by the architecture of the building that he forgot it was an eye appointment, Hahah. My kid doesn’t allow anyone to put anything near his eyes, except me, and even then I have to really work at it. I was floored that he allowed the tech to HOLD his eye lid open. He expressed EXTREME dislike, but allowed it. I was impressed. Then eye drop time came. This is the time I usually have to put him in a hold, ending in my having to carry him out of the building in a meltdown. Sooooo I stood up, smiled at him and said “Now you know what we are going to do now. Do you need me to put you in a hold now, or can we try it on your own first? (I always give him a choice, he knows himself, and I always want him to try/ have a choice). He simply said “I think I will try”“Good job bud.” I said as I mentally braced myself to intervene because I am the only one that can…..I reminded him that the Tech was a professional – does this everyday…. I stepped forward again still smiling, found all the strength I could feeling like I was about to wrestle a gator (because trust me, that’s what this is, my son does the Death Roll, I swear) and then, just like that, he allowed the guy to put drops in his eyes. WHAT!? HOLY CATS BATMAN. Not once but twice. WHAT?! Who’s kid is this?? Not mine! Mine would have been in a hold by now as I use both of our weights to keep him pinned in the chair, like our specialists taught me, to keep him from hurting himself, or someone else accidentally. Mine kid would be screaming and crying because his Sensory Processing Disorder had already taken over the situation. By this time I would have pulled him from the chair, carried him through the lobby, from the building, braced myself up against the outside of the building, while still holding on to him, all the while talking him down. Instead, I was staring at my kid holding a tissue to his eye telling me how much that “was not pleasant”, glaring at the Tech and simply sitting there. HE WAS JUST SITTING THERE! I could have fallen over. This appointment is the one I thank the Gods every year for only being once a year. This is the only time of year I KNOW I am going to be sore the day after. Autistic kids and Eye Exams just are not friends. Going room to room, machine to machine. Nope. But this year, we hit another Mile Stone. I’m over the moon. I can’t tell you what this means.

I was still in shock and SURE that I would be dealing with a meltdown later since it didn’t happen while in the chair, but I was wrong. The only thing I had to do was pin him up against the outside of the building, not in a hold, but because he said “My eyes are wonky, things are doing stuff”. He needed to feel secure. haha. He tripped twice over his own feet, and laughed that he thought someone must have drugged him.

My son picked out maroon glasses by the way. lol. He unfortunately has his momma’s eyes. He will now have to wear glasses constantly, not just for reading, just like me. The Doctor looked over at me and made a comment about how blind I was, and to watch for that with my son. “What the hell, these are the thin lenses!” I laughed. He smiled real big and told me could tell by how my lenses were refracting light. WELL I NEVER! I AM A LADY! DON’T BE LOOKIN’ AT HOW I’M REFRACTING! He laughed so hard I thought he was going to pop an eye ball.

My son later noted that the Eye Doctor’s mannerisms reminded him of Doctor Who. Just so you know. 

So there you go. Origami and Autism Mile Stones, and Doctor Who.

Also, did you know this month is Autism Awareness Month? Well you do now. lol 

https://www.autismspeaks.org/

OXOXOX

Catriona

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Accidental Social Experiment

I don’t believe in being wasteful.

So, it shouldn’t be a surprise that from time to time I use my son’s old, raggedy ass, kick you in the face Bright Orange school bag (if you knew me, you would know that Orange is not my color, annnnnd you would die laughing). I mostly use it because it has the BEST laptop pocket ever. Anyway. So, this morning I grabbed it, dumped the contents of my purse in, grabbed my laptop, and out the door I went with my son.

We hopped the bus, I dropped my son off at school and I hit the bakery. I was low on cash so I skipped coffee and got a doughnut (to lessen the Parkour going on in my stomach due to meds)……only to be surprised by free coffee – cream already in it and everything! YES! I could have kissed my coffee guy.

Annnnnnd then I left the bakery…. it didn’t take long for um, weird dudes thinking I was a High School girl to try to pick me up. I get that I am small framed, I was wearing glasses, and a backpack – OK. but I don’t REALLY look THAT young. But, lets get back to the several different OLD guys, in several different areas trying to pick me up, because I looked like a teenager?! One was in a company truck and NAMED the School he thought I went to. Even sighted that he spotted me across town (and was accurate). WHAT? Now, if I were a High School girl I am sure I would have been terrified. TERRIFIED. This dude spotted me across town – did he follow me, or did he just happen to be in the same two places I was in several hours?? Now, I am an adult, and I will hand ANYONE their ass if they come near me, BUT if I’m being treated this way – WHAT ABOUT REAL HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS?!

I ended the day disgusted with humanity. I’m lugging around my 8 year old, ten pound Dino of a laptop in my son’s beaten up backpack so I can attend a meeting I’d rather throw myself off a building than attend, and these sausages want to pick me up because I look like young meat? FUCK THAT, where’s Lorena Bobbitt when you need her?! I better not catch any dude even looking at young girls. WHERE THE HELL IS MY BAT? The world should breath a sigh of relief that I have a son, NOT a daughter.

Pervy, pervy World.

UGH. I need to go scrub with bleach.

XOXOXO

Catriona

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