Riding out the storm on Grandma’s couch.

Well, I’m still here. Lol.

I’m not working b/c my Ex took that away from me, and I am just counting down the days till November 11th.

However now that I am not working – I am finding all this great second hand/ vintage furniture that I would just loovvvveeeee to own annnnnnnd I’m broke. When I had money, where was all this stuff – what the hell?

Who wants to buy Catriona a vintage couch set and/or bed frame? LMAO.

Gosh I’ve never been THIS broke before. I should start selling my underroos online, or something. LMAO

OH and then there was this:

Dude randomly followed me on twitter then sent me a private message:
I have an std

Funny, he didn’t reply. BAHAHHAHAH. I have no idea why.

Gosh life better liven up soon, or I am going to start allll sorts of ruckuses.

Oh and also, my grams just said to me: “Of course Jesus can see you pee.”  In case you guys didn’t know, there you go.

XOXOXO

Catriona

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Homeless

So, my ex came back from vacation yesterday.

This morning, demanded that I leave the house by tonight. TONIGHT.

That was not the plan, and since I work from my home office. I am out of work until I move into the Townhouse I had applied for. Which until about 5pm today was something I wasn’t even sure was going to happen.

Ex did this on purpose to make it harder on me.

What a Jackhole.

They finally got back to me about the Townhouse, they accepted my application. I get the keys in the middle of November. WONDERFUL news, however paying the first month’s rent is going to be a nightmare due to my Ex’s latest antics. I am SURE that was in the calculations. 

Until then, I am technically homeless. I’m sleeping on my grandparents couch (my son has his own room here), I would rather be sleeping on a bus station bench however. But, it will only be until November. My Step-grandfather is a real tool, most of the time.  But, my son is safe, and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

And despite the impending doom that I feel about the loss of wages, HOLY HELL BATMAN DOES IT FEEL GREAT TO BE FREE.

I can have FRIENDS now! lmao I only have ONE CHILD NOW.  WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH MYSELF?!

So, now, I am sitting here making a list of all the things I need for my new home in order of urgency as all I have is a kitchen table, and I’m smiling like an idiot despite the disaster I am in because for the  first time in years, I’m not wearing any shackles.

XOXOXOX

Catriona

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So screwed without me

The washer (that is not coming with me when I move), decided to protest by doing this:

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Yeah, that would be nasty water that wouldn’t drain. Sigh.

Annnnnnd even though technically it’s now my Ex’s issue, I still have laundry to do before im done packing. Sigh. So while the Ex was getting hammered on vacation, I took apart the washer. Fixed it, all is well, but man. Just keep adding to the list universe. Thanks.

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Yeah. I popped the pump out and found the issue. Yum.

Ex will be paying a nice service fee next time something goes wrong. HAHA.

So, that’s what I’ve been doing, taking shit appart and playing with gunk.

What are you guys up to?

Catriona

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I drink my owl from the back

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That’s right.
I bought myself an owl cup. Some
people buy cars, jewelry, hookers. Me, I bought myself an Owl mug to the tune of my divorce.

Which really, has to be sipped from the back, or things get allllll crazy. Fyi.

Love you guys,
Catriona

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Just add it to the list.

So you guys know the Universe and I have been fighting.

In Feb I spent a week in the ICU with Drs telling me that my significant other had lost too much oxygen, they weren’t sure there was any brain activity. I had managed to resuscitate before the EMTs showed up, but it took over a week to see brain activity. That person that I brought back isn’t the one I married.

Also in Feb, my close friend lost his leg, had two heart attacks, and lost a part of his mind along the way.

That same month, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer for the fourth time. This one being the one the Drs said would finally get her.

I was diagnosed with PTSD, so was my son as a result of finding a dead body in my bed.

I had been taking care of this person for three years, on Feb 8th that person died. What I brought back was a nightmare. Now, I am not saying that the three years prior was a cake walk. I took care of everything. The Money, the bills, the house, the animals, the child, the homework, the volunteering at the school, everything. There wasn’t a thing that wasn’t my responsibility. But after Feb our house became volatile. Hostile. Terrible. Horrid. And, I was still taking care of everything. I was being treated in ways I wont disclose.

Last week, I packed up my son without notice and brought him to live with his grandparents while I pack up the house.

I am getting a Divorce.

I’m losing/lost everything. My mother, my friend, my sister. My marriage, my house. When I moved in here this house was a WRECK. like WHOA. I built this house that I am leaving. I trained the dog I can’t keep. I am leaving here with nothing; oh wait I get to keep the kitchen table.  I’m losing all the effort, everything I worked for.

I’m leaving here with HORRID credit b/c there were medical supplies, and insurance that HAD to be obtained, so I let my personal bills go. I’ve sold everything to take care of it all. Granted, I don’t pay rent any more here – this is my Mother in laws house that we had planned on buying, and I have worked damn hard on it. But, I think being a nurse to someone for three years, paying for everything else, and taking care of EVERYTHING evens that out a bit (It doesn’t ask them both).

However, what little I do have left that was valuable, my electronics, is been kept here.  My Ex using the line “This is mine b/c of all they money YOU owe my mother.” At first I was going to fight it, now I am just letting it all go. It’s not worth the fight. I have my kid, and his stuff. That is all that matters.

I’m leaving with the loss of the life I built for my family, for my son. I’m leaving with the damage that has been done to my son. The loss of  my dog, my two cats, my credit, my personal possessions, and all I get to keep is the kitchen table, and the PTSD.

And to top it all off, my son’s other parent couldn’t get out of bed for the last three years, but came home with a brand new 700.00 cell phone last week, and is on vacation right now (getting hammered a friend) while I wait and pray to the stars that the town house I applied to last week accepts me, so I can move my son and what little I have left into a new life.

OH wait, AND – I don’t even get to leave here with my privacy b/c the person who couldn’t even take out the trash for the last three years, had my cell phone hacked last week obtained my journal, my texts, and all of my photos. Good thing I have nothing to hide.

There’s so much more, but just add it all to the list.

Please send positive thoughts my way that I get this town house, my son and I are drowning.

Catriona

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WHAT?!! (Warning post made in a facility that may contain clowns) *EDIT

It’s August! Yep it is, do you know know what that means?! OCTOBER IS ALMOST HERE. Gosh I love that month.

HOWEVER. Did you know that August contains National Clown Week? WHAT? I sure as hell didn’t, and I’m pretty mad at myself about it. I’m all about Clowns HOW DID I MISS THIS? I didn’t get a memo, WHO FORGOT TO SEND THE MEMO!?

I hate when I miss the memos. I feel like it’s another C- string moment.

I only know because of a post on The Coulrophobia Blog (click here), and WTF HOW DID I NOT KNOW?! AHHH!

I still can’t say the word ‘Coulrophobia’, by the way.

I’m pissed. PEOPLE, START SENDING ME THE FRIGGEN MEMOS. 

That is all.

 

OXOXOX

Catriona

* So apparently I’m a jackhole. Hhahaha Mocha DID give me a memo about this, I’m just ridiculous and forgot. HOW THE FUCK I FORGOT THAT IS BEYOND ME. However, WHY IS MOCHA THE ONLY ONE SENDING ME FUCKING MEMOS ABOUT THESE THINGS?!

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You better watch it, or she’ll deck you.

(For the record, I haven’t actually decked anyone in a long time. I think.)

 

Do you remember the Humpy-the-Post-office-Guy? (if not, click here)  Wellllll……I went into the post office the other day. (HAHHAH.) It’s too bad there was only a few people in there. So I get up to the counter, and the Teller points at me and says something to the other tellers that I didn’t catch.  (I by the way, had forgotten about Humpy, momentarily) All the tellers get this HUGE smile on their faces and BURST into laughter. One of them yells “You better not stand too close, or she’ll deck you.” This went right over my head:

Me -Huh?

TellerYou don’t remember that?

Me -Threatening to deck someone? No. 

Teller - That guy the other day. 

Me -OH. That guy. Yeah. He was humping my leg. 

 

By this time one of the Tellers disappeared and reappeared with the Post Master who was laughing so hard I thought he was going to split.his.pants. 

 

PM -You know you were the talk of the whole office. 

Me -Oh?

PM -Yeah! But, really that guy is hard of hearing.

Me -Um, ok, but he was standing so close to me I could feel his gender. 

PM & TellersOHHHHHHHH we didn’t know that. 

Me -Uh, yeah, and I had moved away several times, even offered for him to cut me in line, yet he continued. 

PMOH we had no idea. 

Me –  Yeah, and I am pretty sure him leaning in to whisper in my ear, so close that he is touching me, has nothing to do with his deafness. 

PM & Tellers – OH! (weird silence)

Me - Yeah. Anyway, I’ll see you guys soon, and we will see who else I can yell at!

The entire post office erupts in laughter. 

 

BTW – a woman in line butted in to say how she would have kicked his ass. UM, NO. We don’t beat on the elderly. We reprimand them. Stupid chick.

Hell, when I’m that old, I will be copping a feel. I just hope I will still have the ability to acknowledge a hint at that age.

 

Photo dump time!

Theses are from the other day. I went for a really long walk.

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Have I mentioned I like abandoned buildings ?

 

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Catriona

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STOP HUMPING MY FRIGGEN LEG.

So, while in the Post Office, standing in line with about 15 people in front on me, I feel and hear a whisper in my ear “you need to move forward”.  Now this guy was so close to me, he was just about touching my neck. I moved forward, said something about him not having to be so close to me, and continued filling out my label. Not even 30 second later he was right up against me again. Soooo, again, I moved a bit forward trying not to crowd the woman in front of me. Annnnnd again he moved so close to me  that he could have been humping my leg if he twitched even in the slightest way. So, I am sure we all know what I did next.  I causes a ruckus. I’m damn good at causing a scene.

I yelled something about him “humping my Fucking leg” and “I’ve moved three times because of it, you do NOT need to be that close to me!”

Small USPS store means the whole office, patrons, and all the tellers heard.  The guy put both of his hands on the counter as if he was used to being made to account for his hands, and said not a word more.

I went to the next teller, and as always asked how his grandbabies were while everyone stared are the freak behind me. Snarl.

UGH.

 

Anyway. I have a photo dump for you all. These are from the last few days.

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One of the loves in my life.

Walking around the last few days to clear my head.

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Also, while in the store I found some Spotted Dick – I’m VERY familiar with that. But, what the hell is Treacle (in a can)? And, is it just me, or does it look wayyyyy worse next to the Spotted Dick?

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On my way home yesterday this was on the sidewalk of a construction site:

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Hope you are all well.

XOXOXO

Catriona

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Out with the Mush, in with the Orgy! (Disney Boobs = NSFW)

Monster Orgy that is. Don’t worry, you’ll understand in a few.

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My last post was entirely too mushy for my taste. I’m so glad beyondpaisley help me out: 

someone pass gass

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSaex1lLSsI

.

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So,  in order to further negate the mush – I am going to share (over share? maybe).

My closest friends are better than yours.

Do you know how I know? THIS:

 

This is a card Mocha gave me a few weeks ago.

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Are you starting to see why my friends are better than yours? No? let’s have a closer look:

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That’s right Bitches. I got a homemade Disney Soft Porn Card.  Oooohhhhh Yeaaaaahhhh.

and if that wasn’t enough, ohhhhh wait for it. .

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You open the very same card, and ….

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BAM!

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MONSTER ORGY.

Yep that truly happened to me. HAHHAHA!

I enjoy it more and more every time I look at it.

When I’m feeling sad I just take a big ol gander at my Soft-Porn-Disney-Monster-Orgy-Card.

It makes everything better. Go ahead, try to feel sad right now. I Dare you.

(Mocha’s gonna kill me. BAHAHAHHAHAH)

Catriona

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Wonderful Team Membership & Rose of kindness

Thank you Belsbror for nominating me for the Wonderful Team Membership Award. It’s taken me a while to address it, but that doesn’t mean I’m not honored. I’ve hit a lot of assholes and pothole along the way this last year, and it seems I’m just now getting back on track (I think?).

Belsbror is one of my favs, so go check out the site if you don’t already.  :)

 

I really, really (REALLY), adore reading about all the lives that are going on around the world. You are all so darn interesting. I’m so incredibly happy to be able to share the web with so many wonderfully weird, crazy, fascinating, and just lovely people.

 

Simple rules:

1.Display the logo on a post. Done..ish, not on post…but you can see it below. lol

2. Link back to the person who nominated you. Done

3.Nominate 14 readers other bloggers and inform them via comment in their blog sites. Nope. See below.

 I’m changing the rules. 

My nominees are:

Anyone. EVERYONE. Anyone reading this. I’m happy to be a part of the blogging club, lol, and you know what? Even if you’re a complete turdball, I think you should be acknowledged. HAHAHA. So, I nominate YOU.

 

 

 

 Belsbror also nominated me for The Rose of Kindness Award. I’m glad that I was delayed in acknowledging this one, and I will explain why in a moment. 

Thank you Belsbror, for the nominations. I heart your page, like, alot.

 

Some rules to follow:

1. Add the Rose of Kindness Award on your blog. Done
2. Thank the person who nominated you and link back to his/her blog. Done
3. Nominate 13 bloggers whose kindness you have experienced. Done, and I’m thinking I may exceed 13 on this one. .
4. Post why you are nominating each of your nominees. Done.
5. Let the nominees know that you nominated them. Done.
6. Suggest one special act of kindness that the world may benefit from:

My suggestion is this: My world is you crazy people (and maybe some other non virtual people, maybe). Keep being yourselves. You were all there for me when I needed you.  You have all shown your colors, and they are beautiful. Each one of your acts of kindness toward me within the last few months has shown me that you are perfect just the way you are, and need no suggestions. The actual world – should take lessons from all of you.

My nominees are:

(click on each to visit their page)

1. CaptainReluctant Rlsh

2. Morguie

3. seattlepolychick

4. Phil Taylor

5. Haji

6. bethy

7. Here’s one I made earlier

8. The English Professor At Large

9. Shelley

10. beyondpaisley

11. Rhino House

12. Jeff

13. Phil

14. Handbasket

15. Anonymous

16. onewithclay

17. rubypearlmt

18. mytiturk

19. Ethel and Everett 

 

I’ve nominated you all because each of you has shown me that the world really still is full of compassionate, just truly wonderful people. Thank you, each of you, for your support when I fell on my face, and helping me realize that not being ok for a while – is perfectly fine. I’m so grateful for each and every damn one of you. <3

I’m happy that I fell behind in my awards, because this one, this one is special.

 

Now, Enough of this FUCKING MUSHY STUFF! SOMEONE SWEAR. OR PASS GAS, OR SOMETHING! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Catriona

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