Apparently my 10 year old son knows more about dating than I do.
We walked by a bridal store today. These stores NEVER catch my eye. Ever. But the dress in the window caused me to come to a complete stop. It was stunning. I muttered something about weddings. And the most bizarre conversation then proceeded to take place between my son and I:
Well if you want to get married, there are steps you know. You have to date. Then you fall in love. Then you have a baby. Then you get married. – Kid
*raised eye brow* Oh?
Yes. You need to date. – Kid
Um. No, I don’t.
Yes, you do. It would be good for you. – Kid
What? How would you know.
I just do. – Kid
I don’t need to date, Kid. I am fine.
No, you need to start dating. It will get your mind of (insert contents on my brain, here). – Kid
WHAT? That is not how it works child. You don’t date to get your mind off things and people. You do it to find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. It just so happens I am not down for that at this moment.
Yeah, I know, but it will help, and you could find someone… That would make you happy, and wear that dress. *giggles* – Kid
Whoa kid. No, I am not wearing that dress, and I am not dating.
Yes you are. – Kid
No, I’m not. I am not interested in dating, at all. The dress was beautiful, that’s all.
Now, mind you, this entire conversation took place at one of our local shopping centers.
You should be. – Kid
Because you are beautiful, and you should date while you are still beautiful. – Kid
WHAT? *lols* are you saying time is running out on my beauty? *woman rounds the corner to come down the isle* Trust me lady, you don’t want ANY of this isle.
*giggles* You should just try. – Kid
I have tried.
WHAT DID YOU DO TO MESS IT UP? – Kid
Oh my starts kid, I didn’t mess it up (almost dying in laughter now). It just didn’t work.
WHAT DID YOU DO? – Kid
I didn’t DOOOO anything. It just didn’t work out.
You need to start dating again, mom. – Kid
WHAT DO YOU GET OUT OF IT, CHILD?
Nothing, I just think it will help you. – Kid
Help me what?
Well, I am getting older you know, what happens when I am not around? – Kid
YOU ARE TEN.
Yeah. You should date. – Kid
Oh my god, Kid.
You can go on dinners and fall in love, and forget about (insert other parent). – Kid
That’s not how it works.
Just do it. *pointing to Nike shoes* – Kid
Kid, you are killing me. I am going to sell you on the Black Market.
No you’re not. – Kid
Yes I am. Stop touching stuff. You are getting your boy hands all over the girly stuff.
Don’t change the subject. – Kid
I am selling you *Yells out in the middle of the store* CHILD FOR SALE!
*Falling over giggling* – Kid
I donno why you are laughing. I am selling you RIGHT NOW.
Nope. You are going to start dating RIGHT NOW. – Kid
Yeah. Right after I sell you.
Fine. You know you attract a lot of attention. It would be easy for you. – Kid
CHILD, CHILD FOR SALE! *all four ladies in line are laughing, the cashier is shaking her head. Though I am not sure which one of us should was more unimpressed with.* What the hell, kid. I will date when I am ready.
Now? – Kid
How about now? – Kid
I am going to leave you here.
I know how to get home. – Kid
I am running away.
With a date? – Kid
OH MY STARS CHILD.
It went on like this for about an hour. Apparently I need to start dating. He doesn’t care who. He doesn’t even care what I do, I just need to date, someone, anyone. LMAO.
I couldn’t sell him btw. No one would take him. Maybe they figured he gave faulty advice.
I have got to go to bed. Maybe I will find a date there.